«Resolutions»

01-05-2309

     Standing in a stagnant security check point line I begin to come up with my list of resolutions. It’s the appropriate Earth tradition this part of the year, but I just start doing it to kill time.

     The first is to be more assertive. This is only at the top of the list since I’m currently struggling to strike up a conversation with the redhead standing before me in the queue. There’s a painless dialogue with this attractive stranger that could be had right now, easing both of our nerves before a long space flight to Mars, or whatever destination she was going to that I was too shy to inquire about. Instead we play that game of continuous nervous glances, keeping each other in our respective fields of vision while seeming to pass cynical, possibly just exhausted, messages back and forth. Punctuating each of our sentences with inviting smiles that , perhaps, read as just coy smirks. As she steps up to hand her passport over she peeks over her shoulder as if to say ‘Nice talking with you’.

     The second resolution comes to me while sitting in a car of the subway system connecting the concourses from beneath the tarmac. The next time I walk into a room, acting and dressed ostentatiously, I have to be prepared with enough confidence to actually speak to someone. It’s a little like the first resolution, but anything that needs to be reiterated is certainly something I need to work on. If I’m going to share my talents and success, or try to rub off some undeserved sense of self-importance on others, I have to be able to feel comfortable enough with my assets to actually deem them valuable. The first key to making someone interested in what you have to say is being captivated enough with your own words that they can’t help but be too. I slump back in the nylon seat and hide behind my thick, dark green shades.

     The third resolution is a freebee, I came up with it before the others–don’t be so much of a pushover. Playing ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ can only be so helpful, and doesn’t seem to be paying off in all the years I’ve put it into practice. From now on, if there’s something I need or just want I’m going to speak up and take it. It’s really simple: what life does not give me I will get for myself. I push up my shades and cut into the line to when they call to board my row. It’s kind of a wide line though, and I end up letting the elderly Saturnian couple I would have cut go ahead of me anyway.

     As I’m walking up the aerobridge to where it meets the wide door of the red Perseus-Class that will take me back to my excuse for a life on mars, I realize that all three of my resolutions are all kind of the same one. As I ponder now how to kill three birds with one stone I come to my lot. My heart suddenly jumps into my throat, as to say hello to the girl from the security checkpoint, who is seated next to my empty chair. How I plan to carry out my resolutions throughout the year is no longer a matter at this moment–I take off the sunglasses and prepare to tackle all three at once.

«The New Year»

01-01-2309

     The late night sky on Earth is windy and clear. A thousand points of light, static and shifting alike, paint the scene on a pitch black backdrop; the dry fingers of trees and hard edges of houses creating a border. The garage door closes obediently behind me as I step out into an icy gale. I suddenly regret taking my mother’s crawler out this evening as I thumb the key in one hand and search for a cig in my other pocket. I begin the ignition, light up and close the door, standing outside and exposed to the weather. A familiarity in this winter sky is the only thing keeping me comforted.

     Shivering in a fashionably functionless coat, I inhale as deeply as I can in order to expedite this process. My mother’s vehicle remains eerily inert as the engine groans aloud, not quite drowned out by the crinkle and sway of dying branches in he wind. As it slowly warms up, I continue to smoke a cigarette that I want less and less, mindlessly admiring the car’s sleek design. It’s a lot like mine back on Mars; a squat, 4-wheel hatchback with an aggressive front-end and a larger engine then is necessary for the average commuter. A Saturnian made machine that looks more like a beetle than my Jovian rodent, and hers is as dark as midnight. If it were at all capable of flight, the craft would surly blend into this scene.

     Tightening the scarf and hugging myself with my free hand, I reckon this the most eventful moment of the New Year’s Eve. I should have been in New Tros City celebrating with my roommate Tohm, but that plan was made a month ago before he burned me and cost me my new apartment. Instead the evening was spent seated in Rip’s room, huddled around a card game and an intense philosophical and existential debate. It’s been a fun night, and I’ve certainly drank and smoked enough, but it’s been no different from any other night since I’ve been back on Earth.

     I need excitement, and loud music; a party and lots of booze. I need conversations with strangers and rehashing with old friends I wouldn’t want to speak to unless I were already tipsy. I mostly need a girl to kiss on a night like this, though, and blamed my funky state on a lack of such luck. I also need to be done with this damn cig.

     I stamp it out and quickly slip into the ebony insect, the whole frame vibrating in idle as the vents finally produce a warm climate. I shiver involuntarily as my body adjusts to the sudden heat and sink down into the seat, sighing when I’m finally comfortable. I put the crawler in drive and begin the quiet journey back to my home. I silently hope the new year is more favorable than the last one as I leave the yellow-lamp circle and proceed to the highway.